Satisfaction
I have always struggled to feel fully satisfied in Christ. Which also happened to never make any sense at all to me. If the creator and sustainer of the universe gave up everything to come to earth, veil his holiness, and endure the wrath of God for me – a sinner who deserved nothing but death – why on earth wouldn’t THAT be enough to satisfy me? I mean, if that wasn’t enough, I was pretty sure there was no hope for me ever being content this side of Heaven. Why would I still seek the approval and love of people if I had Christ? Everything I ever heard told me that He is more than enough for me. So why was I feeling like I had needs He couldn’t – or wouldn’t – meet? After years of prayer and so much seeking, I have finally figured out the problem that was keeping me from being fully content in Christ alone. I was worshipping and serving God as a means to an end. I was under the impression that if I worked hard enough, prayed long enough, and sang loud enough that God would eventually give me everything I wanted. I mean every Christian knows that Romans 8:28 says, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” But worshipping and serving God only on the condition that He meets every desire of our hearts is a huge slap in the face to Jesus. Because that kind of attitude is saying, “Jesus alone isn’t enough.” Instead of worshipping Jesus as the means to an end, I should be worshipping Him as the end. If I believe that He is my reward, that ultimately everything I’m doing is to get more of Him, everything else I thought I needed in order to be happy suddenly doesn’t matter. If I have Jesus, I have no other need. The gospel Jesus taught seems completely counterintuitive. Some of the stuff He said would just never work. Some of His words would drive the majority of people to run in the opposite direction. That’s because He was doing the message justice. The message is to deny ourselves and give our lives to making Him famous. There’s nothing comfortable or popular about that, but that is what’s required. Jesus never asked people to pray a prayer to ask Him into their hearts. What He said was, “Come, follow me.” And the reaction of his followers was that they dropped their nets. They let go of their plans, their means of a livelihood, their homes and their families and followed, knowing nothing of what to expect. If we look at Jesus as the means by which we get everything we want, clearly following Him is dissatisfying. But if we see Jesus as everything we want, following Him is our only option.
